3 ways resistance undermines your leadership mindset

THE ART & SCIENCE OF LEADING SELF
The Power of Distinctions

My friend, the last few weeks we have been talking about M = f(m), which is a mathematical representation of Mindset work being a function of Mindfulness.

Several weeks ago, we looked at Carlos Alcaraz's second-round loss at this year's U.S. Open for insights. In his post-match press conference, he referenced the mental roller coasters that he was experiencing during the match. We used this to start to look at the concept of Mindfulness and the role it plays in Mindset.

Today, I want to continue our exploration of a key principle of Mindfulness: acceptance.

Sometimes we learn a lot about what something IS by getting clear on what it is NOT.

When you are not practicing acceptance, you are resisting. Resistance impacts your Mindset. Let's look at 3 distinct ways this occurs.

🙅‍♀️ Resistance focuses you on denial

When you resist reality, you're not just disagreeing with it - you're actively denying its existence.

This denial becomes an anchor, weighing you down and preventing you from moving forward. Think about it like this: You're in a boat, trying to navigate to a new destination. Denial is like dropping an anchor and insisting you're already where you want to be.

No matter how much you rev the engine or adjust the sails, you're not going anywhere until you acknowledge where you truly are and lift that anchor.

When you're focused on denying 'what is', you can't clearly see 'what might be'.

Your vision narrows, limited to maintaining the illusion you've created rather than exploring new possibilities. Remember, acknowledging reality doesn't mean you have to like it or accept it as permanent. It simply means you're choosing to start from a place of truth.

And it's only from this place of truth that meaningful change and growth can occur.

😳 Resistance creates tension

When you resist reality, you're not just dealing with external pressures - you're creating an internal battleground.

Think about it this way: You're in a crucial meeting, facing unexpected challenges. While everyone else is focusing on solutions, you're spending mental energy denying the situation. This internal resistance doesn't just distract you; it physically tenses your muscles and raises your heart rate.

It's like trying to drive a car while simultaneously pushing the brake pedal - you're working against yourself. Instead of marshaling all your internal resources to navigate the situation skillfully, you're dividing your energy.

How much more effective could you be if all that energy was aligned towards addressing the actual situation at hand?

Acceptance isn't surrender; it’s acknowledging the current reality, which brings you into alignment. By releasing internal resistance, you free up valuable mental and physical resources. You become more resilient as your act of acceptance enables you to adapt well in the face of whatever reality you are confronting.

This shift from resistant to resilient equips you to be more agile, more responsive, and ultimately, more effective as a leader.

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🛟 Resistance impacts emotional self-regulation

When you resist reality, you're essentially running 2 mental programs simultaneously.

One is dealing with the actual situation at hand, while the other is actively denying or fighting against it. This mental multitasking isn't just inefficient - it's exhausting. Your brain has a finite number of cognitive resources available at any given time.

When you're in resistance mode, you're allocating a significant portion of those resources to maintain your denial of 'what is'.

This leaves you with less mental capacity to process emotions, think critically, or respond thoughtfully to the challenges you're facing.

This cognitive tug-of-war doesn't just impact your mental state - it takes a physical toll as well. When you're constantly resisting, your body interprets this as a form of ongoing stress. In response, it keeps pumping out stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.

Over time, this elevated stress state can impair your brain's ability to regulate emotions effectively.

🤷🏽‍♀️ So what?

Denial, tension, and an inability to emotionally self-regulate don't just make you uncomfortable - they fundamentally impact your Mindset.

And let's be clear, your Mindset isn't just some abstract concept. It's the lens through which you view the world. It shapes what you perceive, how you interpret information, and the decisions you make.

When you're in denial, you're not seeing reality clearly.

When you're tense, you're not processing information effectively.

And when you can't regulate your emotions, you're not making decisions from a place of clarity. You're starting every interaction, every challenge, every opportunity at a deficit. This isn't just about feeling better - it's about leading better.

By practicing acceptance and reducing resistance, you're not just changing your emotional state.

You're upgrading your entire operating system as a leader. 💪🏽

FROM INSIGHT TO ACTION
Putting It Into Practice

Next time you feel yourself resisting a situation, pause for 10 seconds.

Take a deep breath and simply state (out loud or in your mind) what is actually happening, without judgment. For example: "I'm in a meeting and the project deadline has been moved up." Notice the use of “and” in the declaration.

“I’m in a meeting and the project deadline has been moved up” generates different energy than “I’m in a meeting, but the project deadline has been moved up.”

Using the word “and” supports the practice of acceptance.

“But” invites resistance.

Commit to this practice for 1 week and note what changes you observe in your resilience.

EXCELLENCE UNBOUNDED
How I Can Help You

🚀 CEO Coaching Programs: Are you a CEO who wants to:

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Developing greater leadership capacity in 4 key domains (Mindset, Courage, Resilience, & Innovation) will empower you to do all three.

Book time to learn about the bespoke 1:1 coaching programs I deliver. During this call, we will talk about your challenges, your goals, and how we might partner to fully “unbound your excellence.”

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A few past clients include KraftHeinz, Amazon Women @ Payments, PAHEi, & the Panamá Chapter of the International Coaching Federation (I delivered this talk in Spanish).

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Until next Sunday,

Shawnette