1 key step to cultivate mindful leadership (it may surprise you)

THE ART & SCIENCE OF LEADING SELF
The Power of Acceptance

Dear Reader, last week we looked at Carlos Alcaraz's early exit from the U.S. Open, specifically post-match comments where he shared insights on his mindset.

If you missed it, you can read the issue here. This week, we’ll delve deeper into our exploration of M = f(m) to illustrate how you can tame the mental roller coasters you may occasionally find yourself riding. Let's start by looking at the concept of acceptance.

We’ll clarify what it is.

Then, we’ll examine how it connects to Mindset.

What is acceptance?

Acceptance, one of the key tenets of Mindfulness, is "the process of allowing things to be as they are without actively trying to change them."¹

The definition is straightforward but putting it into practice is not easy. Depending on your cultural background, your socialization, and other factors, you may be conditioned to resist many things. Here are a few examples in American culture:

• "Never give up": This popular saying encourages persistence in the face of adversity, potentially discouraging acceptance of certain situations.

• "I won't back down": Tom Petty's song lyrics embody a spirit of defiance rather than acceptance.

• What other references come to mind for you?

These sayings illustrate how acceptance often runs counter to cultural messages here in the West.

Let's hold off on debating whether you should give up or back down.

Today, I just want to highlight that you may be predisposed to resist. For many people, it's a default setting. It certainly used to be for me.

When I work with clients on mindfulness, they often ask if acceptance is the same as endorsement?

I understand the question. If you are allowing things to be as they are without trying to effect a change in that moment, it can feel like you are sanctioning the present situation. But acceptance is not endorsement.

It is simply an acknowledgement of 'what is' in the present moment.

You can accept the present reality and subsequently move forward to design a new one.

How acceptance connects to Mindset

Alcaraz's explanation of his mental and emotional state during his U.S. Open match painted a vivid image (see video here; recommend you start viewing at the 2:52 mark).

He was not able to tame his mental roller coaster that day, but his experience created a window into a key concept: the role of acceptance in Mindset. Think about it this way: Why do you care about developing your Mindset? Many people care because they want to be more consistent, emotionally steady, and confident.

These are excellent goals.

Well, we know that Mindset work is a function of Mindfulness, aka M = f(m).

So, where does acceptance fit in to this? Mindfulness is what creates space for you to better observe yourself, your thoughts, your bodily sensations, your surroundings, etc. It is paying attention on purpose.

That paying attention on purpose is rooted in present moment awareness, acceptance, and non-judgment.

You cannot be fully present if you are resisting the current reality.

Staying in the present moment requires that you accept ‘what is.’ If you cannot accept ‘what is’ (regardless of how you feel about it), you spend time resisting. Resistance creates mental and emotional barriers.

Acceptance removes them and allows you to fully connect with the present moment.

The practice of acceptance also offers an amazing BONUS because growing in your ability to accept the present moment cultivates resilience. ⭐️

The act of accepting 'what is' develops your capacity to adapt well in the face of adversity, trauma, or significant stress. That is the definition of resilience (seriously, it’s the actual definition).

That sounds like a pretty big step towards taming the mental roller coaster to me.

What do you think?

FROM INSIGHT TO ACTION
Putting It Into Practice

What does acceptance have to do with self-leadership?

The practice of acceptance offers you a window into your Mindset, which is vital to self-leadership.

Spend time this week observing when you find yourself resisting. You will start to notice behaviors that are ultimately the manifestation of beliefs (consciously or unconsciously held). This is the entry point for Mindset work.

Mindset work is not just about designing a new Mindset.

A disproportionate amount of the work is about gaining insight into the beliefs you already hold and examining whether they support the outcomes you hope to achieve.

How is acceptance important when leading others?

Leaders who practice acceptance foster a culture that can engage in crucial conversations.

When you are not operating from a state of resisting the present reality, you empower your team to embrace 'what is.' This is a powerful place to begin designing 'what will be.' Acceptance is not a static place because life certainly isn’t.

Acceptance is in 'the now,' which is changing moment to moment.

When you lead others from a place of acceptance, you are a more agile, resilient leader capable of cultivating that in your team.

Want to dive a little deeper into acceptance? Check out this free resource. It offers additional context and some practices you may find beneficial.

EXCELLENCE UNBOUNDED
How I Can Help You

🚀 CEO Coaching Programs: Are you a CEO who wants to:

• Skillfully navigate uncertainty 

• Lead confidently

• Drive results

Developing greater leadership capacity in 4 key domains (Mindset, Courage, Resilience, & Innovation) will empower you to do all three.

Book time to learn about the bespoke 1:1 coaching programs I deliver. During this call, we will talk about your challenges, your goals, and how we might partner to fully “unbound your excellence.”

🎤 Speaking Engagements: My mom can attest to the fact that I LOVE to talk. 😂 Now, I put that talent to work delivering talks on Mindset, Courage, Resilience, & Innovation.

A few past clients include KraftHeinz, Amazon Women @ Payments, PAHEi, & the Panamá Chapter of the International Coaching Federation (I delivered this talk in Spanish).

If you are interested in having me speak at your event, please fill out this form.

Until next Sunday,

Shawnette