Elevate your leadership by honoring self-commitments

QUOTE
A bit of wisdom

THE ART & SCIENCE OF LEADING SELF
Leading with Integrity

Have you ever kept a tally of your broken promises?

When I cannot keep a promise I made to someone, it actually causes me physical and emotional pain. For those familiar with Gallup’s StrengthsFinder Assessment, Responsibility is my top theme, so honoring commitments is a big deal for me. I go to great lengths to only make commitments I know I can fulfill.

But there is an area where I observed a clear deficiency: honoring commitments to myself.

Over the last 2 years, I have dedicated significant time and introspection to examining this.

I’ve observed my own behaviors, my client’s behaviors, behaviors of loved ones, and I’ve come to a conclusion. First, as with all behaviors, addressing the root of the problem does not lie in hacks or mental tricks. The answer lies in Mindset.

Here are 3 questions that can offer you meaningful insight into why you may wrestle with this same issue:

➡️ What stops you from breaking commitments you make to others?
When I engaged in deep reflection about this, I realized the beliefs I held about respecting others and honoring commitments in general influenced my behavior.

 🤔 What does your answer reveal to you?

➡️ What are the commitments to yourself that you are not honoring?
My answers tended to revolve around not honoring my need for personal downtime and not following my morning routine. For instance, I was quick to break plans for downtime if I felt I could get more work done. I also noticed that I had become inconsistent with my morning routine.

🤔 When you reflect on this question, what do you uncover?

➡️ What is that pattern of behavior telling you?
My patterns around not honoring commitments to personal downtime helped me uncover an unconscious belief I held about my self-worth. I realized that I was “down-voting” time off because I felt like I hadn’t “earned it.” I had fallen into the trap of “the endless pursuit of more.”

My patterns around my morning routine, however, surfaced a previously imperceptible shift that had occurred over several months: I was unconsciously gravitating towards a new morning routine. One that fit where I was in that moment, not where I had been in previous years. Once I realized this, I “updated my operating system” so that I could move forward in clear alignment.

🤔 What are your patterns of behavior communicating to you?

FROM INSIGHT TO ACTION
So What?

It can be easy to minimize breaking commitments to yourself.

If you haven’t shared your intentions with others, no one knows except you, right? But, if you are leading yourself well, the opinion you hold about yourself carries weight. This makes breaking commitments to yourself particularly damaging to your self-regard, something that matters as a leader.

Particularly when you consider that many of the personal struggles leaders confront involve an imbalance of self-esteem - either too much (narcissism) or too little (low self-esteem).

Strengthening your ability to honor commitments to yourself empowers you to maintain a healthy self-esteem.

It also translates into how you lead others. It empowers you to:

• Be more self-aware

• Be more confident in your leadership

• Demonstrate greater social awareness

• Cultivate deeper relationships with those you lead

I got tired of the inconsistency I observed in myself. Rather than becoming my most vocal critic, I followed my curiosity. I observed my thoughts during many hours of prayer and meditation. I reflected on my patterns during yoga sessions and long walks.

I wrestled with the questions above until I got to the truth.

The truth drives transformation far more effectively than any quick productivity hack. When coupled with your commitment, it blazes the path for enduring change.

If you are ready to start honoring commitments to yourself, start with the 3 questions above and stay curious as you arrive at your answers. Next, create support for sustained action by enlisting the support of a family member, friend or colleague who will hold you accountable as you work to strengthen your ability to honor the commitments you make to yourself.

Feel free to drop me a line if you want to share your insights or have questions about what you uncover.

EXCELLENCE UNBOUNDED
How I Can Help You

🚀 CEO Coaching Programs: Are you a CEO who wants to:

• Skillfully navigate uncertainty 

• Lead confidently

• Drive results

Developing greater leadership capacity in 4 key domains (Mindset, Courage, Resilience, & Innovation) will empower you to do all three.

Book time here to learn about the bespoke 1:1 coaching programs I deliver. During this call, we will talk about your challenges, your goals, and how we might partner to fully “unbound your excellence.”

🎤 Speaking Engagements: My mom can attest to the fact that I LOVE to talk. 😂 Now, I put that talent to work delivering talks on Mindset, Courage, Resilience, & Innovation.

A few past clients include KraftHeinz, Amazon Women @ Payments, PAHEi, & the Panamá Chapter of the International Coaching Federation (I delivered this talk in Spanish).

If you are interested in having me speak at your event, please fill out this form.

Until next week,

Shawnette