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THE ART & SCIENCE OF LEADING SELF
The Power of Distinctions

My friend, real-world events have provided a great case study we can use to look more deeply at detachment. Given that, I’m postponing exploration of the framework for identifying attachments.

If you watched the Wimbledon Women’s Final, you know who Amanda Anisimova is.

She’s the exceptional tennis player who lost the final 6-0, 6-0 to then world #3 player, Iga Swiatek. It was uncomfortable to watch someone who is such a fierce talent lose that badly. But there were mitigating factors:

▶️ Mental readiness: she allowed her nerves to overwhelm her, which slowed her reaction time and often left her frozen at key moments

▶️ Physical fitness: there’s a difference between the physical demands of a one-week tournament and the intense 2 weeks of a grand slam. By the time she won her grueling semifinal match, she was out of gas.

What does this have to do with detachment? Well, barely 7 weeks after that devastating Wimbledon Final loss, Amanda was a US Open Finalist. 💪🏽 She ultimately lost 6-3, 7-6(3) to the world #1, Aryna Sabalenka, but talk about altering your personal and professional story in a short period of time!

Detachment played a role in her comeback. Here’s how:

1️⃣ She accepted what happened at Wimbledon 🙏

She cried for 30 minutes after the loss before getting on the phone with a friend.

They laughed about it. By the end of the conversation, she viewed her Wimbledon loss as “something crazy that happened.” She turned the page and started focusing on what she could control: her mental and physical readiness.

It can be easy to get stuck resisting what has already happened. Re-litigating the past, lamenting, denying.

This keeps you locked in the past, which is a roadblock to being in the present and to designing a path forward.

2️⃣ She tapped into the power of Mindfulness 🧠

Remember that being mindful simply means:

• Paying attention on purpose, with intention

• Being in the present moment

• Maintaining an equanimous, non-judgmental state of mind

Notice the way each of these reinforces recognition and acceptance of impermanence, a key element of detachment?

Amanda could have easily spent a lot of time wallowing over what happened. Rather than continuously revisiting it, she invested time in her Mindfulness practices.

This helped her observe the disempowering ways she was handling her nerves in big moments. She came to see how her internal state before the Wimbledon Final—coupled with physical exhaustion—impaired her performance.

3️⃣ She focused on her self-leadership 🔑

Self-leadership is “the practice of intentionally influencing your mindset to align your emotions and behaviors in ways that empower actions that achieve your intended results.”

Amanda engaged in this work even as she delivered her endearingly vulnerable speech right after her Wimbledon loss.

In her run to the US Open Finals, she continued to embody strong self-leadership during her QF victory over Iga Swiatek (the Wimbledon champion) just 54 days later.

When asked about how she pulled off her 6-4, 6-3 victory, she shared, “… I told myself you can't go into the match with any fear." 💪🏽

Even this statement points back to her practicing detachment!!

Connecting the Dots to Detachment 🔍

Amanda wasn’t attached to fear itself. She was attached to protecting her sense of self and how others perceived her.

Let's peel back the layers.

At Wimbledon, fear manifested in Amanda in similar ways that it shows up in you and me. It fueled her attachment (clinging) to protecting her sense of self and how others perceive her on the biggest stage of her career. Instead of playing freely, her fear locked her energy on guarding against what might go wrong.

The more she clung to protecting how others perceived her, the more her behavior reflected the grip of fear—tentative shots, defensive choices, and a performance that fell short of her potential.

During her US Open run, she focused on what she could control: herself. She stayed in the present moment and directed her energy to her efforts throughout the tournament (within her sphere of control), not the outcome (outside her sphere of control).

Even though Amanda didn’t win the title, her transformation shows what detachment makes possible.

Where might you apply this insight in your life today?

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EXCELLENCE UNBOUNDED
How I Can Help You

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🎤 Speaking Engagements: My mom can attest to the fact that I LOVE to talk. 😂 Now, I put that talent to work delivering talks on Mindset, Courage, Resilience, & Innovation.

A few past clients include KraftHeinz, Amazon Women @ Payments, PAHEi, & the Panamá Chapter of the International Coaching Federation (I delivered this talk in Spanish).

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