When clarity starts with you, not them

TOGETHER WITH CONTRARIAN THINKING

Learn Business Buying & Scaling In 3 Days

NOVEMBER 2-4 | AUSTIN, TX

“Almost no one in the history of the Forbes list has gotten there with a salary. You get rich by owning things.” –Sam Altman

At Main Street Over Wall Street 2025, you’ll learn the exact playbook we’ve used to help thousands of “normal” people find, fund, negotiate, and buy profitable businesses that cash flow.

• Tactical business buying training and clarity

• Relationships with business owners, investors, and skilled operators

• Billionaire mental frameworks for unlocking capital and taking calculated risk

• The best event parties you’ve ever been to

Use code BHP500 to save $500 on your ticket today (this event WILL sell out).

Click here to get your ticket, see the speaker list, schedule, and more.

THE ART & SCIENCE OF LEADING SELF
The Power of Behavior

My friend, in neuroscience, the constructionist theory of emotion¹ posits that emotions aren’t automatic responses. They’re constructed in real time using internal and external cues, including language.

To put it simply:

🧠 Your words shape your emotions, which then shape your behavior.

This week, we’re going to explore how shifting your language changes everything, starting with your own state and extending to what others feel in the room.

Mindset House Recap 🏠

Here’s what you’ve learned so far in this series as I’ve continued to breakdown my Mindset framework:

✅ Foundation (Mindfulness): Mindset is a function of mindfulness, aka M = f(m). Practicing intentional, nonjudgmental attention creates space to choose.

✅ Skeletal Framing (Subject–Object Shift): The shift from “I am frustrated” to “I notice I feel frustrated.” That shift puts you back in charge.

✅ Flooring (Detachment): Letting go of over-identifying with outcomes or roles so you can move with steadiness.

3 indicators that help you identify Attachments:

✅ Language (Thresholds): Your words are thresholds that move you into different states of being.

✅ Feelings (Thermostat): Your emotions offer insight, not orders. But only if you check the reading.

✅ Behavior (Wiring): This is an outward manifestation of your internal state.

The Feedback Loop That Traps Leaders ❗️

There’s one loop many leaders routinely execute without realizing it. It looks like this:

Language → Feelings → Behavior

Let’s break that down:

🗣️ Language: You narrate the situation, often unconsciously, in a way that reflects assumption, attachment, or fear.

😤 Feelings: That narrative generates a bodily response. Frustration, defensiveness, resentment.

🧍🏽‍♀️ Behavior: Your team experiences the tension: the clipped tone, the reactive questions, the silence.

What’s equal parts promising and dangerous is that each part reinforces the next.

Your language generates feelings. Your feelings fuel your behavior. Your behavior validates the original story you formulated in language. And the loop spins on.

But this loop isn’t inevitable when it doesn’t serve your efforts to achieve your desired results. It’s breakable.

And breaking it is what separates good leaders from transformational ones.

Composite Case Study: Curiosity That Opens the Room ✨

Let’s examine this in another context.

A seasoned executive is reviewing a new staffing model. As he listens, a familiar tightening rises in his chest. It’s a blend of frustration and fear. The inner dialogue starts up:

“Why didn’t they think through the capacity implications? This will burn people out. They should’ve come to me sooner.”

The executive’s face hardens. His posture shifts. His tone, when he speaks, is sharp:

“Did anyone consider the burnout risk here?”

The room tenses.

Then he pauses and remembers: his feelings are information. His frustration is a signal, not a script.

He takes a breath.

“Let me pause and clarify what I am trying to say. I notice that I am feeling frustrated, and I want to be constructive. Can you walk me through the tradeoffs you considered so I can better understand how you reached this staffing model?”

His tone shifts as curiosity takes the lead.

The room reopens.

His team explains, and this time he’s able to truly hear them.

This Is Self-Leadership in Action 🔗

Remember my definition:

This is how you break the loop.

You notice your language. You name the feeling. You choose a behavior that invites clarity not conflict.

The result?

Stronger trust. Better decisions. More consistent execution.

👉🏽 In what ways is your language aligned—or misaligned—with the leader you want to be?

MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD 📢

EXCELLENCE UNBOUNDED
How I Can Help You

Trusted by Executive Teams When Alignment Matters Most

When leadership teams misalign, it’s not just an internal issue. It shows up in decisions, culture, and outcomes.

I design and deliver high-impact, immersive leadership experiences that:

🔍 Expose misalignment at the root

🧠 Build shared language and mindset

⚡ Strengthen execution velocity

If you lead or advise an executive team that’s approaching an inflection point or preparing for significant growth, book a conversation.

🎤 Speaking + Facilitation

From main stage keynotes to boardroom sessions, I deliver talks on the inner capacities that drive performance.

Past clients include KraftHeinz, Amazon Women @ Payments, and the ICF in Panamá (delivered in Spanish).

Let’s talk about your event.