Read time: 3.7 min.
đđ˝ Welcome to Inner Frontiers for Outer Impact, a weekly newsletter that provides self-leadership insights that help you develop 4 key leadership capacities: Mindset, Courage, Resilience, & Innovation.
In today's email:
đ The Wiring: How behavior reveals attachment
đĄ Mindset in Practice: The indicator others see before you do
đ§ Self-Leadership: Why awareness precedes aligned action
đłď¸ Quick Poll: Your feedback matters! Take my single-click poll.
The most important thing I learned is that soldiers watch what their leaders do. You can give them classes and lecture them forever, but it is your personal example they will follow.
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THE ART & SCIENCE OF LEADING SELF
The Power of Behavior
{{First Name | My friend}}, Iâve been walking you through my entire framework for Mindset the past few weeks. To make it easier to visualize, Iâve been using the analogy of a house. Hereâs a quick recap of the structure:
Framing: SubjectâObject shift
Flooring: Detachment
To help you recognize the value of practicing detachment, Iâve been stepping you through a 3-part framework that equips you to identify attachments. So far, weâve explored two indicators:
Today, we complete the attachment framework by turning to the third indicator: Behavior.
Before we go further, hereâs a quick reminder of the definition weâve been using:
Attachment is a state of grasping or clinging to people, objects, ideas, or causes. It carries the idea of possession or a sense of ownership.
That clinging doesnât stay hidden. It expresses itself through your behavior, even if you donât notice it.
So, if feelings are the thermostat and language the thresholds, then behavior is the electrical wiring inside the house.
It carries the charge of your internal state and makes it visible. Sometimes it flows smoothly. Sometimes it sparks. Other times, it shorts the whole system.
The Indicator Everyone Else Sees First đĄ
One reason behavior matters so much is that itâs the one indicator of attachment everyone else sees (whether youâre aware of it or not).
Your team may not know what youâre feeling. They may not catch the nuance in your language. But they will always notice how you behave.
Behavior is the visible extension of whatâs happening inside you.
Itâs how attachment manifests when you donât even realize itâs there.
Thatâs why itâs an important indicator to get curious about in your self-leadership. Because your behavior sends signals. Signals that shape culture, influence trust, and tell others what truly matters to you.
And when your behavior contradicts your stated values or strategy?
People acknowledge your words, but they believe what you do. đđ˝
Snapshot: Chief Human Resources Officer đ¤
Attachment: Identity as âthe bridgeâ between admin and clinical teams
The CHRO of a regional hospital system sees herself as the connector between leadership and frontline clinical staff.
But instead of hosting joint problem-solving sessions, she filters communication through side conversations and separate updates. Her behavior looks like helpful translation. But itâs powered by an attachment to being the sole bridge.
The result?
Miscommunication, deepened silos, and a growing disconnect between strategy and delivery.
Why Awareness Precedes Alignment đ§
This is where the foundation of the mindset house we have been building, M = f(m), matters most.
You canât rewire a system youâre unwilling or unable to see. And without mindfulness, your behavior will just follow old circuitry (well-reinforced neural pathways). Thatâs how patterns persist.
You think youâre leading from strategy or purpose, but your actions are powered by fear, ego, the need for control, etc.
Mindfulness is what creates the space for you to pause and observe.
Itâs what empowers you to stop, notice your behavior, and ask:
Whatâs really driving this?
What attachment might be hiding underneath this reaction?
What outcome do I actually want to create here?
That moment of inquiry gives you a choice. That choice opens up space. đĄ And that space is where alignment becomes possible.
This Is Self-Leadership in Action đŚ
Remember this? đđ˝
Self-leadership is the practice of intentionally influencing your mindset to align your emotions and behaviors in ways that empower actions that achieve your intended results.
When youâre aware of your behavior and its roots, you can step back. You can detach from the surge of the moment. And you can lead from clarity instead of clinging.
The three indicators of attachment offer you real-time tools to spot where you may be grasping:
Feelings â the thermostat
Language â the thresholds
Behavior â the wiring
That moment of awareness empowers you to make the conscious choice to open the door to detachment instead.
As we close todayâs issue, I invite you to consider:
What story might your leadership behavior be telling without you uttering a word?
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đ¤ Speaking Engagements: My mom can attest to the fact that I LOVE to talk. đ Now, I put that talent to work delivering talks on Mindset, Courage, Resilience, & Innovation.
A few past clients include KraftHeinz, Amazon Women @ Payments, PAHEi, & the PanamĂĄ Chapter of the International Coaching Federation (I delivered this talk in Spanish).
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Until next Sunday,
Shawnette


